Dr Love Handles has your heart in his hands….
Published 1 year, 8 months ago in My life.Nookers, your very own Dr Love Handles is here to repair, revitalise and restock your empty love pantry with advice on all matters of the heart. Got a crush and don’t know what to do? Unrequited love? Ask away, ye of the loved-up, and I shall spout forth the excellent advice that saw me through two divorces (kidding)…..
15 Responses to “Dr Love Handles has your heart in his hands....”
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Unrequited love?…….oh what would Mr.Darcy say! Quickly!Mama bring the salts, I”m all in a tizz.
Rather a lot of Drs on this site. Getting more like a psychiatric ward every day.
Dear Love Doctor,
What are your qualifications? Lots of detail please.
Excellent, Wonderwoman, you’re paying attention to your inner love bug. I like that. You are my favourite so far. Perhaps I may take you under my wing, if Mister Mister lets me. Vivavoce, Mr Darcy would be very pleased yet mildly disgusted that one would lower themselves to *feeeeel*. And hannahsgranpa? Well, let’s just hope we don’t meet in a dark alley, my friend.
For Wonderwoman, read on… your detail is my desire.
1992-1993 - Heartbreak High, Dubbo. Unrequited love with Craig “Sumo” Jones, who in Year 1 smacked my head against a tree. And acne. Did I mention that? Never a good combination. Excelled in moping, dwelling and scowling. A for effort.
1996 - 2000 Bachelor of Kisses, University of Southern Lovin’, Australia. Majored in flirting and the game “Doctors and Nurses”.
2001-2006 - Graduated Australian College of Casanovas, majoring in love handles, love bumps and humps, love pillows, love cushions, and of course, love chunks.
2007 - Available to Melbourne love smugs and thugs for coaching, counselling and kisses (*blush*). Often seen leaving homes of strangers wearing nothing but a lamp shade.
For a l..u..r..v..e Dr you seem a bit testy
Well vivavoce, I have a lot of tension in my shoulders and Billy Joel is still making music, which gives me a chronic case of the irrits. But if you have a loooove question, I’m all ears.
Oooh, I have one… what’s the best advice I can give to a friend (male) getting over a breakup? They were together 2 and a half years, and he’s really sad… any specific things I should avoid or mention in my advice?
Yep. Got it. Understood. Good question. Here’s your advice to him:
* Get a tattoo with her name on it (because “OF COURSE you’ll get back together, mate, ‘course ya will. This will show her you really really love her…. really”)
* Replace mouthwash with Chivas Regal
* Spell out “I wish your skin was crispy too” in M&Ms on her doorstep then knock and run away. That won’t freak her out AT ALL
Aaah…. Dr Love Handles delivers again.
XD Oh now that is just gold!!
I can see I’ll have to think up a lot more love-related problems for you to solve!
Sorry, might pass.. Not sure about those credentials..
Dr Love Handles,
Is it possible to have amazing love for so many people - love lots of people, our tribe of children, family and be happy. Can we divide our love for so many people? Yet be happy in a single relationship?
and should we ALL be using Chivas Regal for mouthwash? Sounds great but maybe a tad expensive .. especially if you get a taste for it. I can see it now … first gargle 6am, second gargle 8:30am, third gargle 10am … and no flouride so it is safe to swallow!
As smooth as money being stolen out of your back pocket… as creepy as a melbourne criminal’s lawyer!
Now, now she didn’t get jail for what she had done… did she.
hi ‘drlovehandles’ i m ‘theyoungatheart’ suffering from puppy love. how can i handle that? and how would u handle this?